


Blackmail and Babysitting

by LittlebutFiery



Category: Fullmetal Alchemist - All Media Types
Genre: Babysitting, F/M, Fluff, Parental!Royai, Riza is such a mom and Roy is such a pushover, Royai Week, Royai Week 2018
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-06-11
Updated: 2018-06-11
Packaged: 2019-05-21 00:48:02
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,482
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14905328
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LittlebutFiery/pseuds/LittlebutFiery
Summary: Hughes blackmails Mustang into babysitting Elicia for a night, and Mustang brings Hawkeye along.





	Blackmail and Babysitting

“Roooooooooy, buddy!”

Mustang stopped walking, turning to face Hughes as his friend jogged to catch up. He noticed the mischievous glint in Hughes’ eyes and sighed, “Do I even want to know?”

Hughes laughed boisterously, throwing an arm around his friend’s shoulders. “Why’re you always such a downer?”

“Because whenever you have that look in your eye, it means something bad for me,” Mustang scowled.

“You wound me,” Hughes replied in mock hurt.

“So, what do you want?” Mustang asked. “If it’s about pictures of Elicia or Gracia, show them to Fuery. I don’t have time.”

“It’s not,” Hughes countered. When Mustang raised an eyebrow, Hughes admitted, “Alright, it’s not about _pictures_ of them.”

“There it is,” Mustang chuckled. “What do you want?”

“It’s been months since I’ve been able to have a quiet dinner with Gracia,” Hughes said. “It’s not that I don’t _love_ having dinner with my adorable little angel Elicia…”

“…Maes, if you’re about to pull out a picture, I _will_ incinerate it,” Mustang warned.

Hughes sighed again, tucking the photo back into his jacket pocket and continuing, “…but our anniversary is coming up and I want to treat Gracia to something special.”

“What, you want a reservation at that fancy Xingese place downtown? I can get you one, no problem,” Mustang said.

“No, I know where I’d like to take her,” Hughes shook his head.

When the taller officer didn’t continue, Mustang prompted, “…soooo, what does this have to do with me?”

“I can’t just trust my sweet precious darling daughter with _anyone_!” Hughes said.

Mustang sighed. “I’m not the guy to ask for a babysitter recommendation. You know that.”

“Who says I’m looking for a recommendation?” Hughes grinned. Mustang scowled again.

“Enough beating around the bush. What do you want?” Mustang demanded.

“Could you watch Elicia for a night?” Hughes asked. “Just a night! A few hours! You’ll hardly even realize that Gracia and I are gone.”

Mustang laughed. “Seriously? Me? I’m not good with kids and you know it. Ask somebody else.”

“How else are we going to get you settled down with a lady?” Hughes chuckled. “You only get good with kids with practice!”

“That implies I _want_ to get settled down,” Mustang rolled his eyes. “Like I said. Ask somebody else.”

With this, he kept walking, leaving Hughes behind him.

Hughes sighed dramatically and said, “Roy, I hate to do this, but you leave me no choice.”

Mustang stopped. “Do _what?_ ”

“Remember last Valentine’s Day?” Hughes asked.

Mustang’s face twitched, wary of where his friend was going with this. “Yes. I spent the night at Madame Christmas’s.”

“Nice try,” Hughes’ amusement was clear in his voice. “You didn’t start with those plans.”

Mustang turned to face his friend again, teeth gritted. “Maes, I really don’t think either of us want you to finish this train of thought.”

“Is that a yes to babysitting?” Hughes pressed.

“No,” Mustang snapped.

“Then I’ll do what I must,” Hughes grinned. “You might have wound up at that old dive, but that’s not what you _wanted_ to do.”

“ _Maes_ ,” Mustang warned.

“I seem to remember going to the store with you that morning,” Hughes continued. “And getting a _lot_ of roses and some fancy chocolates for a certain lady. What was it, 99 red roses? I also seem to remember you chickening out and giving them to Madame Christmas’s girls instead.”

Mustang glared at him. Hughes went on mercilessly, “I _also_ seem to remember that the certain lady goes by the name of Lieutenant Riza Hawkeye.”

“If you _ever_ tell her…” Mustang growled.

“Your secret is safe with me,” Hughes promised. “…so long as you babysit Elicia for me Saturday night.”

“Are you _blackmailing_ me?” Mustang demanded.

Hughes laughed. “That’s a harsh word. Persuading? Encouraging? No…let’s go with blackmailing.”

Mustang glowered at him before reluctantly conceding, “I guess you don’t really leave me a choice.”

“Perfect!” Hughes beamed. “I’ve got reservations for Gracia and I at 7 on Saturday night, so…see you at 6:30?”

Mustang nodded curtly. Hughes began to walk away when Mustang added, “I’m going to bring Hawkeye.”

Hughes turned back to face him, eyes twinkling. Before he could imply anything or make any jabs, Mustang grumbled, “I know nothing about children. If you want your house still standing when you come back, we’re going to need Hawkeye there.”

“Justify it however you want,” Hughes waved him off, still grinning. “I’ll see the two of you on Saturday.”

Mustang grunted his agreement and began to head back to his office.

He was not looking forward to this.

 

“Thank you so much for agreeing to watch Elicia,” Gracia said.

Mustang shot a glare at Hughes, who innocently smiled back, while Hawkeye graciously replied, “It’s no trouble to help a friend. Enjoy your evening.”

“Oh, we will!” Hughes exclaimed, putting an arm around Gracia and hugging her tight. “Ready to go, sweetheart?”

“We won’t be back too late,” Gracia said as Hughes began to shepherd her towards the door.

“Have fun!” Hughes added, all but pushing his wife out the door and closing it behind them.

Mustang sighed as the door shut with finality. “This is going to be miserable.”

Hawkeye chuckled. “Nonsense, sir. We’re watching a sweet little girl. We’ve done worse.”

Elicia came running into the entryway, hugging Hawkeye’s legs tightly. “Miss Riza!”

“Hi, Elicia,” Hawkeye smiled, ruffling the little girl’s hair. “What would you like to do tonight?”

“I wanna play horsey!” Elicia exclaimed.

Hawkeye turned to Mustang, who was too busy brooding to notice her pointed look. When he finally did look up and notice, he asked, “What?”

“Elicia would like to play a game, sir. I think you’re better built for it than I am,” Hawkeye replied.

“Yay! Horsey!” Elicia giggled, clapping her hands together.

“Absolutely not,” Mustang scowled.

Elicia’s lip trembled before she burst into tears. Hawkeye hissed, “Sir!”

“I am a _Colonel_ in the _Amestrian military_ , I am a _State Alchemist_ , I am _not_ going to play pony for a little girl!” Mustang snapped back.

Hawkeye took a step closer to him, so Elicia couldn’t hear her next words. “Sir. You are being a pretentious ass.”

“If you’re so passionate about this, then _you_ play with her!” Mustang hissed.

“She clearly wants to play with _you!_ ” Hawkeye countered, still keeping her voice too soft for Elicia to hear. “Put your enormous ego away for tonight, and play with her!”

Mustang took an angry breath, ready to order Hawkeye to back down, before he saw the hard, angry glint in her eyes and realized she wasn’t about to listen. He sighed – of course she’d have a maternal instinct he hadn’t been aware of.

“Fine,” he grumbled. He raised his voice, put on a saccharine demeanor, and said, “I’m sorry, Elicia! I was just joking. Do you still want to play?”

The little girl’s tears stopped instantly, replaced with a big smile. “Yay!”

Mustang sighed heavily, shedding his jacket and handing it to Hawkeye. To her credit, his adjutant tried to hide her smile as Mustang got down on hands and knees so Elicia could climb on his back.

“Giddy-up, horsey!” Elicia exclaimed once she was settled, pointing in the direction she wanted to go.

Almost an hour later Elicia finally climbed down, running off to find a new game, leaving Mustang in a crumpled heap on the floor.

Hawkeye squatted down to talk to her commander. “You alive, sir?”

“I think my back is broken,” Mustang moaned.

“I’ll get you some ice. I should have a painkiller in my purse as well,” Hawkeye said, once again trying to hide her smile.

She promptly returned with the promised icepack and medicine, all but dragging Mustang to the couch so he could rest before she went to find Elicia.

Mustang pressed the icepack to his aching back while he listened to the sound of the girls playing in the other room. He wasn’t quite sure what they were doing – playing make-believe? having a tea-party? who knew – but based on the frequency of Elicia’s giggles, she was having fun.

He couldn’t help but smile. He had always known there was more to Hawkeye than propriety and work ethic – hell, he’d grown up with her. But in all those years, Mustang had never realized just how kind and patient she could be, how loving and maternal.

It was definitely a good thing he’d asked her to join him for babysitting.

He’d almost dozed off on the couch when the little pitter-patter of feet woke him. Elicia was standing in front of him, a little wooden box in her hands and another big smile on his face.

“Did you have fun with Miss Riza?” Mustang asked, forcing himself into a sitting position despite the screams of protest from his back.

“Yeah!” Elicia beamed. “We had a tea party and did a puzzle and played dress up! She told me I looked like a princess!”

“Your father would certainly agree,” Mustang chuckled, meeting Hawkeye’s eyes and smiling.

“She even let me paint her nails!” Elicia went on.

Mustang glanced at Hawkeye again – indeed, her nails were now a gaudy shade of pink that contrasted heavily with her preferred aesthetic.

“Can I paint your nails, Mister Roy?” Elicia asked.

“What?” Mustang asked, drawn from his musings on Hawkeye.

“Can I paint your nails?” the little girl repeated.

“I…” Mustang managed weakly, not eager to repeat the earlier crying incident _or_ have his nails painted.

“How about you pick out some colors while I talk to Mister Roy?” Hawkeye prompted, that dangerously parental look in her eyes again.

“Okay!” Elicia said, setting her box down on the coffee table and rummaging through it.

Mustang heaved himself to his feet, following Hawkeye to the doorway to another room. When they were out of Elicia’s earshot, Hawkeye warned, “If you’re even _thinking_ about a repeat of earlier…”

“Look, I want to avoid that too,” Mustang pleaded. “But I am _not_ going into work on Monday with _that_ all over my hands!”

He pointed at Hawkeye’s bright polish for effect. She sighed wearily. “Sir, you are aware that nail polish remover exists, yes?”

Mustang blinked, surprised. “It does?”

“Yes. I’m sure some of Madame Christmas’s girls have some. If not, I do at home,” Hawkeye replied.

“I’m never going to hear the end of this from Hughes,” Mustang sighed.

“If you don’t do this, you’re never going to hear the end of it from _me_ ,” Hawkeye replied, frowning.

Mustang gave Hawkeye his best impression of Black Hayate’s puppy-dog eyes, but it didn’t sway her – she simply pointed back towards the couch, and he reluctantly obeyed.

Elicia smiled again when he sat back down on the couch, beginning to roll up his shirtsleeves. She exclaimed, “Daddy says you’re a fire alchemist, so I picked this color for you!”

It was a dark crimson, the same color his aunt and some of her girls preferred to wear. Great. He’d fit right in at the bar as he drank this evening from his memory.

Outwardly, though, he forced a smile and said, “Let’s get started, shall we?”

While the little girl began Mustang’s manicure, Hawkeye made them dinner – pancakes, per Elicia’s enthusiastic request. Elicia all but inhaled her portion before clumsily trying to help Mustang with his as his polish dried.

After dinner, as Hawkeye did the dishes, Mustang and Elicia listened to the night’s installment of the girl’s favorite radio story before he put her to bed. He even condescended to read her a bedtime story, complete with silly voices, without any bellyaching.

 

It was nearly midnight when Gracia and Hughes returned. As Hughes dug in his pockets for his house key, he asked, “Think they’re all still alive?”

Gracia chuckled. “I hope so. I’m still surprised Colonel Mustang agreed to watch Elicia. I never really saw him as a parental type.”

“We’ve got to get him ready somehow! We both know he’s not going to be a bachelor forever,” Hughes laughed, pulling the key from his pocket.

He quietly unlocked the door and opened it, careful not to make noise to wake his daughter. Hughes called quietly, “Roy? Hawkeye?”

Instead a familiar little voice exclaimed, “Daddy!”

Hughes and Gracia exchanged a confused glance as they headed inside – why was Elicia still awake?

On the living room couch, Mustang and Hawkeye were fast asleep. Mustang’s head had lolled to one side as he quietly snored. His arm was slung over Hawkeye’s shoulders as she slept curled up against his side, her head on his shoulder. Elicia was on the floor in front of them, drawing something with a red marker.

“Elicia, why aren’t you in bed?” Hughes asked quietly.

“I woke up. I wanted to play some more, but they were asleep. So I’m drawing them!” Elicia replied brightly, holding up her half-finished drawing of Mustang and Hawkeye cuddling.

“Let’s get you back to bed, sweetie,” Gracia said, scooping her daughter up in her arms and carrying her back towards her room. “Did you have a good time?”

“Yeah! I want Uncle Roy and Aunt Riza to come back soon!” Elicia exclaimed.

Hughes chuckled. Once Elicia and Gracia were out of earshot, Hughes said loudly, “Wakey wakey, lovebirds!”

Mustang startled awake mid-snore, producing a very undignified snort as he jerked from the surprise. The motion woke Hawkeye, who blinked tiredly, a confused glaze over her expression.

It took the pair a moment to realize they had been cuddling in their sleep; the second they realized what they were doing they scrambled away from each other, their faces scarlet with embarrassment.

“You said you wouldn’t be back very late,” Mustang grumbled, rubbing the sleep from his eyes.

“And you two are trying to act like I didn’t catch you snuggling, so who’s the real liar here?” Hughes teased.

Mustang bit back a harsh retort, cheeks still crimson. Hawkeye said, desperate to change the topic, “Elicia was perfectly behaved tonight. She was a delight.”

“Glad to hear it!” Hughes beamed. “Do you need a ride home, Lieutenant? It’s late; I’d hate for you to have to walk.”

“The Colonel drove me,” Hawkeye replied. “Hopefully he’ll be charitable enough to drive me home as well.”

“Of course I’ll take you home,” Mustang scowled, standing up and grabbing his coat from the endtable. “Let’s get going, Lieutenant. I don’t want to fall asleep at the wheel.”

“Yes, sir,” Hawkeye nodded, following him into the entryway. “Goodnight, Lieutenant Colonel.”

“Goodnight, Lieutenant. ‘Night, Roy,” Hughes replied as they left.

He locked the door behind them, a grin splitting his face from ear to ear. His plan had worked even better than expected – he’d gotten a free evening of babysitting _and_ gotten a step closer to getting Roy and Hawkeye to admit their feelings for each other.

He’d have to find a way to get them to babysit again soon.


End file.
